Today when I woke up I had a little mental battle with myself. I was thinking how great it felt laying in my bed. The sun wasn't even lifted high enough to brighten my room. It's fuckin early. Then I thought to myself get your ass up and go write something. Today was the first time in a while I actually listened to myself and got up and started typing. To this exact minute, the sun is still parked underneath the mountains.
I don't know why I told myself to get up and write, but here I am.
I always wonder what people think of my writing. It's like I don't give a damn but I do at the same time. I think I care a little because I want to always find someway to provide value. I always want people to leave me with more than we meet. Either smiling, think about something they haven't thought about in a while or a life realization, just something.
I'm been considered a deep person from some on my friends. I love having conversations where it leads to something about life, our decisions and takeaways. I find myself always being the person to get someone to cry in simple conversations, by simply asking questions Shit gets to real sometimes.
Lowkey, I wonder if people even care about each other anymore. I'm the type of person who treats everyone the same. I enjoy hearing stories and I enjoy telling them as well. But some of the conversations I've had with individuals seem as though no one really asked them questions before. It's weird. I've had a a decent amount of people thank me for just listening.
One thing I fight with is figuring out how to use what I love, to find a career. The only thing I really want to do is travel the world, meet different people and work from my laptop. I swear that's like the dream. Waking up when you feel like it, doing what makes you feel good, building relationships with different people and working hard on your passion.
I wonder how many people struggle to find what they love to do. Like really struggle, that trying stuff and failing, back to back.
I'm starting to believe that most people don't really care about figuring what they love to do. I think most people only care about paying their bills and buying shit. I'm starting to believe those are the real lucky people.
The people who can just watch television or be online all day without any thought of "what am I doing" is dope. I'm around a lot of these types of people and I get it. There is no worry, no expectation of self, no goals, no drive, it's wild.
But to the people who are out in this world going for something. Stay strong and stay as focused as you can on your goals. Possibilities are real, they just take a little time.